Adoption Stories – The pain of giving up a baby for adoption

The pain of giving up a baby for adoption is still raw for some mothers 50 years later, as a fascinating two-part documentary showed.

Love Child, was shown on ITV over two successive Sundays in January and was made by Testimony Films, Steve Humphries’ Bristol-based company renowned for producing oral history programmes.

In the 1950s and 1960s, the stigma of illegitimacy was such that many young women in their late teens and early 20s were more or less forced to give up their babies. They were expected to go away to mother and baby homes, and six weeks later, sign over their child to someone else. They were then expected to make a fresh start and forget the babies they gave away.

But the women featured in the programme didn’t forget. Every day, each one of them thought about the babies society wouldn’t let them keep. Some of the stories were heart-wrenching. Doreen, who went to tell her Navy boyfriend she was pregnant only to find he was already married with a family, refused point blank to sign the forms so her son Michael could be adopted. She vividly described throwing the pen across the room as officials tried to force her. Only when she was threatened with being sent to a mental institution did she finally give in.

Parental pressure during the post-war era was a tremendous influence too. Girls who got pregnant were seen to have brought shame on the family. The men involved didn’t come into it at all. Many of these women were ‘sent away’ to mother and baby homes for the duration of the pregnancy and birth, only being allowed home when the baby had been adopted.

The messages were repeated over and over. Young pregnant women were told that adoption would give their baby both a mother and a father and a home full of nice things – things that they wouldn’t be able to do. With little or no support from family or state, it was virtually impossible for a young woman with a baby to support herself financially, or find suitable accommodation.

The women who gave their babies away came across as tortured souls. Most of them were now in their 60s and 70s, but all had vivid recollections of the precious moments they were allowed to spend with their babies before they were adopted.

Though Liz knew that her baby daughter was going to be adopted, she remained heartbroken at not being allowed to say goodbye to her. Her daughter was taken from her cot by the nuns at the mother and baby home as she slept. Liz’s shock at the deviousness of this act was still palpable. Yet this was one of the stories with a happy ending. Though she went on to marry and have seven sons, Liz never forgot her daughter, praying that one day she would try and find her. That moment came when her daughter had a child of her own.

“I had to find out why it happened, why anyone could give up something as precious as the baby I had before me,” she said.

Liz and her daughter – who emigrated to Australia as a child – were happily reunited 34 years later. But not all reunions ended so well. Many mothers were desperate to find out what had happened to their children but it wasn’t until the Children Act of 1975 that children were given the right to search for their birth parents. The birth parents had to hope that their child would choose to get in touch.

The programme focused on two women who were desperate to know more about their birth mothers – both stories ended in heartache as their mothers were found, but chose to get in touch with their daughters only to tell them they didn’t want any contact.

TV antiques expert David Dickinson did manage to trace his birth mother, exchanging regular letters, photographs and phone calls. But they never did meet.
“My mother was always a little wary if I suggested I flew over to Jersey, where she lived. I would have loved to have gone over there but I sensed her reluctance, a feeling that I would disrupt her life. I didn’t want to do that but we remained in close contact, nevertheless,” he said.

The programme offered a moving insight into the experiences of these mothers and their children. It told us as much about the social and sexual upheavals of the last 50 years as it did about our basic human need – to know where we came from.

Though Love Child made thought-provoking television, the spin-off book that accompanies it offers much greater insight into the whole history of adoption in this country. The book, also called Love Child: A Memoir of Adoption, Reunion, Loss and Love by Sue Elliott (Vermilion, £14.99) chronicles the process from before the first Adoption of Children Act in 1926 upto the present day. Elliott, the author, also has her own story to tell – she was adopted as a baby in 1951 and her own experiences pepper this informative work.

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191 thoughts on “Adoption Stories – The pain of giving up a baby for adoption”

  1. I was obliged to give my child up for adoption over 37 yrs ago, when I had just turned 15. I miss him every day. They had a refinement of the process of dealing with a pregnancy which was unwanted by the mother’s parents in the early 1970’s – you were made to care for your baby for the first 10 days. Then, the threats were brought to bear by social services “in the baby’s best interests”. Once we had really bonded, he was taken from my arms…
    There will never be a day in my life which hasn’t been effected by it.

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  2. Hi I’m writing a book about a young Catholic girl who is forced to give up her baby son in 1958 and would very much like to speak to anyone who can give me some insight into life in a Mother and Baby home, how you were treated and how much contact you had with a social worker and how did they treat you. Thank you for any response.

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  3. I too am struggling with the knowledge that I gave my baby away in 1972, following my exile to a Mother & Baby home in Chester, when I was 15 years old. I never wanted to part with him, never believed my parents would even consider giving our new family member away, but it did happen. According to the notes from my file which I managed to obtain all these years later it clearly states that I was fully aware and co operative in giving my child away- just 10 days after he was born!! When I managed to track my baby down at the interim Foster Home to spend much needed time with him, it was reported by the Social worker to his senior, as a ‘very crafty move indeed’. I have been in contact with my son since 2005, he has had a happy childhood, with loving adoptive parents. However, he feels ‘complete’ since meeting me and his other family, and I am so thankful I can, at least, give him that. Incidentally, my feeling of loss just keeps on deepening, and I wonder when it will end. I extend my love and support to all natural Mothers, and their children,may you find the peace you deserve.

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  4. My mother died five years ago. I have recently been contacted by my half-brother who was given up for adoption in 1950, long before my mother met my father. I knew nothing about him and neither does my sister though apparently he was in secret contact with my mother for the last 10 years of her life. The shock has been tremendous. Most of all, I feel sad for mum, who carried this secret to her grave. I so wish she’d told us – we would have listened and supported her. In retrospect, her pensive and silent tears over the years make so much sense now, yet there’s nothing I can do and nothing I can say to help her. My sister and I have decided that we will make every effort to welcome her long-lost baby – now a 60-year-old man – into our lives yet we fear for our frail and elderly father who knows absolutely nothing about this so far. My only comfort is that my half-brother and my mother knew each other at the end of her life. That must have such a relief for her and I am happy for him too. RIP, mum, your secret is out and it doesn’t matter, we all still love you.

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  5. I was sent to a mother and baby home at age 16 at 5 months pregnant in 1969 as my mother was ashamed of me and what the neighbours would say. I too had to care for my son for 10 days before the social services wrenched him from my arms in the car park of the hospital. The only person with me at the time was the vicars wife who owned the home I had stayed in for the past 4 months. I was resident in the ‘home ‘ with 4 other girls and we had to wash clean and cook for a family of 6.

    An hour after my baby was taken from me I travelled 2 hours alone and went to my mother in pieces and she refused to discuss anything and I had to pretend nothing had happened.
    I went to visit my son in the foster home in secret, any chance to hold him and keep every precious moment. My mother tried to force me to sign the adoption papers and time after time i refused, until she stood over me until i signed them, telling me it was for the best . After all these years i do not know where he is or even if he is alive or dead. Did my punishment fit my cime? I dont think so.

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  6. my mum had a baby boy in the 50s my gran made here give the baby up when she was pregnant at 17 ,my mum hit the drink when my gran died and then we were told about the baby i was told his name one night and that she was sent away to have the baby so nobody knew before she met my dad.she never spoke about it again so i didnt get any more information my mum passed away 2yrs ago the baby was supposed to be born with cerebal palsy weather or not they made her believe that i dont know she stayed in glasgow i was trying to find him and ws trying to see if anyone knew what happened in glasgow in they circumstances i dont know where mum and babys were sent in the 50s i would love to find out what happened to him i know it eat away at my mum for all they years even though she didnt speak about it.

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  7. I found out after my mum committed suicide that she had had two children before marrying my dad. I’ve done a rough calculation and think one was born in 1965 and another in 1967. My mum was also sent to a home and was made to give her babies away. My dad wanted to adopt the second child, as he met my mum after that child’s birth, but a doctor discouraged this. I think the babies were born either in Swaziland or the Eastern Transvaal (now Mpumalanga) and adopted out to families in England. I often think of these children. I’ve also thought of trying to find them but have absolutely no idea where to begin. I remember my mum sometimes talking about two miscarriages she had before my brother and I were born. I think she had a need to talk about the babies and had never forgotten them.

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  8. I am trying to find a home for unmarried mother’s that was in harrow on the hill that existed in the 60s that I know is no longer there my mother as a teenager went there to have her baby and after a short time of her looking after him he was given up for adoption. He was born early July 1964 or 65. Can anyone help please? Thank you

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  9. I was adopted in April 1977, I have always known I was adopted and had the most fantastic childhood and blessed with the best parents I could have ever wished for, I dont know anything about my birth mother or father and I would never ask my mum or dad about them as I wouldnt want to put them through that, I dont think they would mind but I just dont want to do it to them, I have a really strong feeling that my natural mother was very young and had to give me up, I dont know for sure but I was in foster care until I was 6 weeks old, I am not angry that my mother had me adopted in fact I would love to let her now that I am thankful for that heart wrenching choice she had to make on that day in April 77 if you ever read this please dont feel bad anymore I love my family and have a wonderful time, I now have 3 children of my own and I am extremey happy in life, maybe one day I will get to tell you this face to face but I dont want to upset anyone by doing this as my natural mum may have her own family now with no knowings of me, anyway will stop waffling on and hope I everyone gets what they are looking for, love to you all xxx

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  10. Hello. I am producing a play next year (2011) called Be My Baby at the Erith Playhouse about four girls who are being forced to give up their babies for adoption. I would really like to hear from people that have have had this happen to them: parents, children, grandparents. Not only for research purposes but also, if people are willing to give me permission, I would like the audience to hear “real accounts” of this delicate issue. I want them to be entertained by the story but I also want them to go away and think about how this affected so many people.

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  11. Anyone needing help searching for relatives lost through adoption should contact ‘Adults Affected by Adoption – NORCAP’ a charity with almost 30 years experience in searching for and reuniting lost relatives.

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  12. Hi ..Can anyone say how much NORCAP would charge? My brother was adopted in 1951 and i only managed to find his birth name ,DOB,and birth place and thats it..cant get no further…My mum died in 1998 and i found a letter she wrote of how she felt and how she felt about her son…She had grieved all her life and did share this with no one..The last part of her letter said,”I will never rest even beyond my grave”. Just so sad for all those mums who had their babys adopted..and even for mums now….I would love to find my half brother..he may not even know he was adopted? (would this be possible?).i am 54 and he will be 60 next year…I would not want to disrupt his life if he was not aware he was adopted(i would probably not look for him if this was the case)but i got this really strong urge to find him,i want to know him,i want us to meet before we get too old…So can anyone give me a rough idea how much NORCAP charges? many thanks cheryl.

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  13. AAA-NORCAP is very experienced, both in searching for relatives separated by adoption, and in providing support – during the search and after the person has been found. There are various different services you could decide to take advantage of including help with searching and an intermediary service when the person has been found. You can also put your details on their contact register which is the largest in the UK, containing over 65,000 entries. If your brother knows he was adopted, he may have put his details on there. As a a charity without funding from central government, AAA-NORCAP have to charge for their services. I recommend you have a look at their website at http://www.norcap.org.uk and phone them on 01865 875000. They also have a facebook page (‘Adults Affected by Adoption – NORCAP’). Good luck!

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  14. Hi Sarah,sorry ive not been on here for a while,but would just like to say thank you for your advice on NORCAP (adults Affected by Adoption) I will try these sites and i will phone NORCAP…I didnt even know they had a facebook page.Many Thanks again for information.Greatly Appreciated ..Cheryl..

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  15. hi jenny mckiernan
    i my self have been through a forsed addoption,i was put in a mother and baby home and lead to belive i was going home with my son,16 months i was their and done nothing to have him taken from me it went on my past and risks,i feel so let down as i done my best to prove myself but nobody wanted to know they just wanted to take my baby away and they done it im left devestated and nobody cares,

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  16. hi,
    im 29 years old and im giving my son up for adoption. the parents of this child are the sweetest people i think i have ever met. i never thought that this would ever happen that i would actually consider adoption. but now i know that im doing the right thing for this child. i just wanted to let everyone know that adoption is a wonderful thing. though it is very painful i know that the lord will help me through it……
    jerrie

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  17. Hi,

    A couple of years ago I wrote a book inspired by the fact that I am adopted and have not met my birth parents. It was 1948 and everything we know about out of wedlock pregnancies and all that went with it, has changed. It is a book that would best be described as a love letter to the mother I didn’t know. All details surrounding adoption information were kept secret for so many years and frankly, I still don’t know how much I really want to know.
    I have learned that almost every woman who gave up a child thinks about their son or daughter every day for the rest of their lives – the reverse is also true. To the mothers who have experienced this, I can only tell you not to assume that we adoptees think any the worse about you. I, for one, applaud your courage, feel your pain and understand and empathize with the stress and guilt that surrounded you.
    I have not released the book yet and am wondering if anyone knows of any online communities that might be interested if I decided to make it available?

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  18. I gave my daughter up for adoption in 1989, and life for me has been torture ever since but i still believe i made the right decision for my baby girl, she has had a wonderful childhood and im so grateful to her mum and dad for giving her a great life.I recently found her on the internet, but unfortunatly she does’nt want any contact with me, but at least i got the chance to tell her i love her………

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  19. Hi,

    I know exactly how you feel having been in this situation in the past.

    I did not make the decision of adoption it was made for me but I found my daughter and we are in regular contact. Your daughter may not want contact with you now but keep your door open as she may wish to in the future. Know that if the adoptive parents gave her a good upbringing you made the right choice, also know that she may find it hard to tell her adoptive parents that she wishes to make contact with you and this may be the reason for her decision.

    Hope this helps,

    Dawn

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  20. You know, I’m sixteen and with each word I read from all your stories, I cry. I can’t help it. I think it’s because times have changed. Sure enough, if I were to get pregnant right now mum would totally disown me but she once said she wouldn’t force me to give up my own child. Also, I’m an auntie of seven. When I hold ickle Emily (she’s only two weeks old) I can’t help but feel this instant bond – and I’m not even a mother! It’s really, really heartbreaking to read all these stories to be honest. I don’t know what to say…

    It’s affected me so much that I’m currently writting a story about it. It’s set back in the early 50s. My main character gives birth to an illegitimate child and her catholic mother takes the child away from her and puts Molly inside of the Harrington’s household where she beomes their slave. This is just the beginning but I could really use some help ladies or even you gents out there. I’d appreciate some genuine and truly upsetting insight on what it felt to undergo such a thing back then.

    If ANY of you wish to read the first chapter of my book, please do by clicking this link: http://www.wattpad.com/1074712-tears-of-a-blue-bird

    I could use with each one of you help.

    Ashleigh…

    P.S: words can’t come close to how much sympathy I have for all you mothers.

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  21. ROBERT all i can say is get ur book published, it will be comfort to so many hertbroken mums, and adopted children, i have searched for many books, to try to help me find comfort, and help me understand my sense of loss, and also the feelings of all others concerned, i would definitly buy your book as there arent many about that are true stories x

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  22. To: heartbroken mum,

    I totally agree with you. Robert should and will get that book of his published, as will I.

    I hope you find comfort somehow x

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  23. I too was forced to give my baby up on 8th May 1980 where I too was sent to a home for unmarried mother’s. I was treated very well there but the surgeon in the hospital (Holles St. Dublin) was a different story, He treated me like a piece of dirt. I will remember till the day I die (Dr. Fleetwood) the jr surgeon, who showed me nothing but kindness and concern during this horrific ordeal. I was not allowed to see my baby, I had no idea where he was in the hospital, I didn’t realize he was just beside where my ward was. . the cries of the babies haunt me to this day as I probably heard him cry and wasn’t allowed to hold or feed him. The day he was given up for adoption, the Nun came into me, I gave her a baby grow, vests and cardigans along with my baby. . I got a bottle of holy water and a set of rosary beads!!! what an exchange through no choice of my own. . Dr. Fleetwood told me I would get better and the pain would ease, I thought that too. . but. . time is NOT a healer you have no choice but to live with your pain. I have been blessed with a son and daughter and now a Grand-daughter, but the pain of my 1st born will NEVER leave me and I live in hope I will get to meet, love and hug him one day .. I hope you had a lovely birthday Ronan, believe you me, I have NEVER stopped thinking about you I love you with ALL my heart xxx

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  24. I was adopted in 67 and have since found my mother and lost contact i have just found my dad and am arranging to meet him i feel my life is complete
    now that i have found my real parents.

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  25. my son was adopted 4 1/2 yrs ago i requested that i wanted to have letterbox contact with him. but the sw didnt send me the address for after adoption so i could send my letter there and have it forwarded to him from there.

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  26. Hi
    I was given up for adoption 45 years ago. I found my mum 15 years ago,One letter one phone call and then nothing.
    I manage to find my half sister and brothers through facebook, fifteen years later. We all get on well.
    Saddly my mother doesn’t want anything to do with me. I try to understand the hurt she went through but theres a part of me that is now angry at her.
    For the pain a lot of women went though they who can’t face thier babies are now giving us that same pain to live with. I too do not have a day that goes by that I don’t think of her and shed a tear for her.
    I’VE MISSED THAT BOND ALL MY LIFE AND I WOULD JUST LOVE TO HAVE FOR A FEW MIMUTES.

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  27. To the heartbroken daughter –
    I was also adopted some 51 years ago – and did trace my natural mother (unfortunately she died a few years ago, however, we did have a good relationship for 16 years). And I looked just like her !
    I do feel very sad for your case, in the fact your natural mother did not want to get to know you, we have so may questions of why and what are our natural family backgrounds that we want answering, and I believe we have that right. Adoption all those years ago was completely different than more recent years.
    However, may I just say that although I will always be glad and in some way feel more complete in getting to know my natural mother, I feel extremely lucky in being brought up in the family I was, and treasure that.
    By finding and getting to know my natural mother we became extremely goods friend, but not really a mother and daughter relationship, I don’t think that could happen as all those missing years as a mother and child were lost and that is something you can never rewind. The only way I can describe it is like a piece of delicate china – once it is broken, it can be mended, but the crack is always there.

    Karen
    x

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  28. I am researching a family tree for my brother in law, who was born in 1960 at the mother and baby home in Stratford, East London – called St Agatha’s. Was anyone there, or has photos of the building. Unfortunately his birth mother wants nothing to do with him, so we can get no information on what life was like for her. SHe was horrified that he was able to get in touch – what a blow. The best I can do is make a back story for him. Who would have sent her to the home – the GP? The CHurch? How long would she have had to stay there? Any info anyone has I would be really grateful. Thanks xx

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    • my brother was also born there in 1967, my mum stayed there when she was 15 having my half brother, she said she could keep the baby for 10 days and then they took him, she was very depressed for a long time as she had bonded by then, but her parents wouldnt let her keep him

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    • Hi, my mother had a baby boy in may 1960 in the stratford mother and baby home who was given up for adoption, what is his date of birth please?

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  29. hello i am looking for my birth parents . i was born carlos teixeira in westminster california may 29th 1970. if anyone out there knows anything about it please call me at 530 776 7907 my mom was i guess in and out of mental institutions in orange county and she was with a teixeira but had an affair with a minister twice her age .

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  30. Also just to let you know Helen if your reading this, I have searched for you for years and long to get to know you, your very welcome in our lives and none of us want to upset your life, so please please let us explain to you what happened..much love your sister Cathy xxx

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  31. I was born in Norwich in January 1964 and eventually adopted in, I believe, May 1968. I have just found out that my birth father tried to stop the adoption at the last minute but wasn’t told when the court hearing was and was just too late as the papers had been signed minutes before. I was the second of three girls and I believe I was removed from my birth mother at the age of 11 months. I know my mother’s first name was Valerie but I have no idea what my birth father’s name is and having just found out that he obviously did care and that I was wanted by him has caused me huge emotional turmoil over the past three days. If this information means anything to anyone please respond.

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  32. I am 30 years old and heard my mom went through this when she was 15 years old. This would have been in the late 60s. My mother or father never told me about it but I just heard about it through someone I know because their mothers 1st cousin was the father of this baby. My mom was supposedly sent away to Chicago by her parents to have the baby and have it adopted and then return home like nothing happened. I guess she had a son and I would like to try and locate him or find out if this is true before I confront my mother about it. Can anyone help me?

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  33. i was born in hammersmith hospital in july 1969, and put up for odoption staight away as my birth mum(valerie) and dad(reginald) had separated before i was born, also my birth mum had a daughter already by another relationship who i believe was 2 years older than me. i understand that my birth dad was going to go to stop the odoption, but then never turned up in the end. I have had a good life with parents that loved me, they told me that i was odopted at the age of 7 and it just seemed the norm. i have a sister who is also odopted but she doesn’t want to trace her birth parents as i do, it became a stronger feeling when i had my own children. Could someone please point me in the right direction of what to do now and to go about finding my birth mother.

    +

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  34. I am in the same boat! We found out about beechwood an awful mother and baby adotion home in putney. We subsequently found out that the lady who orchestrated it all received an MBE much to out distaste. We are desperatly trying to find margaret tegwen jones who had a baby in 1964.

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  35. For those of you who who have asked – I have published my book – finally. The full title is MY SECRET MOTHER: an adoptee speaks to the girls who went away. It is available through Amazon/Kindle in the UK and US. It is also available through http://www.Smashwords.com to download to your own computer and print out if you wish. It was a work of the heart and if it brings comfort to even one birth mother, then my own difficulties with releasing it will have been worthwhile.
    My personal message to all birth mothers – you are thought about every day with love and respect – your courage is a constant source of inspiration.

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  36. I was born on November 3, 1960 in High Wycombe, Bucks I was adopted by a wonderful family and in 1966 moved to Canada. I was born Anne Britnell, but the only thing I know is that my birth mother had a sister named Rita Hester. I really am looking for a medical history as there have been many issues with mine. I would like something to tell my own child. If any of my birth family would like to have contact with me – that would be ok too.

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  37. i was adopted in 1968 at the age of 2 years old. I was adopted by my birth mother’s parents – my grandparents. My birth mother was 15 and was sent to a mother and baby home in Bournemouth. Despite knowing my birth mother all of my life there is no bond there whatsoever. At 28 i found out she had had another daughter after me who was also adopted but out of the family. She made no effort towards me or my sister and has astonished her sisters with her lack of maternal feelings. She has since had and kept two other children.
    After the death of my adopted mother and father i no longer have any contact with my birth mother – my choice. I met my birth father when i was 28 and despite a couple of good meetings we are no longer in touch – his current wife feels there is nothing to gain from keeping in touch. Rejection is a hard pill to swallow. its hard to explain how you feel as an adoptee, it affects your life on a daily basis with every decision and path you take. it is always with you – no matter how happy you are in your current life. Despite knowing my birth parents i still have an urge to discover more about my adoption and am desparately trying to find out any information about the mother and baby home that i was born in and spent 6 weeks in. If anyone knows of any information regarding homes in Bournemouth, West District in 1966 would be much appreciated. My heart goes out to everyone that is affected one way or another with adoption.

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  38. I was adopted in October 1951 from a home in Aldershot Surrey called St Agnes. Although I always knew I was adopted I never came to terms with it and eventually when i tried to track my mother s details I was horrified to find I could not get any information to trace my birth mother because no records were kept. I would still like to trace my blood relatives and answer some questions that have haunted me all my life. I hope the government do say sorry when amendment 92 comes up. Good luck to all those still ‘lost’.

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  39. I was adopted in 1951 from St Agnes Lodge in Aldershot my Birth mother was Mary Elizabeth Scott and I was named Anthony Patrick Scott. I am trying to find anyone who may remember this home. Please leave a message here if you can remember anything at all. Thank you

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  40. Im looking for my brothers birth parents and or any family he is Bi-Racial and was born in october 1968 to a very young mother she was aproximately 15 at the time and he was was adopted the following spring in 1969. Im almost certain she was forced to give him up because in 1968 being an unwed teenage mother was frowned upon even more so if the child was bi-racial. My brother will be 44 this year and would like to know where he came from and wants a chance to meet and or at least talk with his birth family if they are agreeable to that. My brother is not at all angry about being given up he understands that his mother had no choice. He was adopted by an older couple from Lansing Michigan who’s names were Albert and Earline Duncan and his name is now Earlee Duncan although im not sure what his birth name was or if he even had one. My brother gave me a recent photo to share with any birth family member so they can see who and what he looks like. We are praying, hoping, and looking forward to finding his family soon. You may contact me at [email protected] if any of this sounds familiar or you think you may be a birth parent of birth family member.

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  41. I am looking for my adopted wee brother as his birth name was George Bell and his date of birth is 6/1/1977 and he was born at Robroyston Hospital in Glasgow, George was put up for adoption from birth. At the time of my brothers birth we stayed at 801 bilsland drive, possil park in Glasgow. Our birth mothers name is Susan Bell, me and my wee sister whom was also adopted out but have since found her and we are in daily contact to which is the best feeling in the whole world to know i have my wee sister in my life after over 20 years of looking for her. We would love to find our wee brother and have him in our lives as well even if you feel you don’t want to get too involved with your birth sisters then that’s fine as long as we know you are ok and have had a good life then that will put our minds to rest knowing you are safe and well. But we would very much love to have you as part of our family. Just so you know George me and your sister dont have anything to do with our birth parents as that is a long story. If anyone knows of any information no matter how small then please please get in touch as my email address is [email protected]

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  42. I am looking for a boy who was born in England on Dec. 9,1961 under the name Ralph Luther Laurent. Shortly after birth (ten days) he was taken from his young, unwed mother against her wishes and given over to the care of his adoptive parents at some point. It is believed he may have been adopted by an american couple by the name of Elmore and Dorothy Mae Holloman. He may have been given the name Jerry Lee Holloman and taken back to the United States when Mr. Holloman’s tour of duty was over in England. I am conducting this search for a dear friend of mine who has missed her son unbearably from the day she was coerced by her parents to give him up. Please if you have any info it would be greatly appreciated. My email is [email protected] Thank you.

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  43. I was placed in the Free Church Home for Unmarried Mothers, 11 St Albans Avenue, Bournemouth. I was there from March to May 1966 when my beautiful daughter was born. It was felt I was under pressure from all concerned, the father of my baby,my parents and Social Services. I was so lucky because my loving parents came to take me and my daughter home. I had to witness the distress of the other girls in the Home because they did not have the support of family, and they were forced to have their babies adopted. I have read so many accounts of girls who have spent every waking moment since they were forced to relinquish their babies, longing for news of their babies. How could society have been so cruel? I would love to trace any girls who were in Bournemouth at the same time as me, just to see how their lives have panned out. I have to say my stay at the Home was not unpleasant but at no time were we ever told that we had rights and were entitled to Benefits that would allow us to keep our babies. The only option that was drummed into us “It will be best for baby”. I thank my wonderful parents every single day for my beautiful, intelligent daughter who is now 46 years old with a wonderful family of her own.

    Reply
  44. My daughter was stolen from me by her adoptive parents in 1974 the pain is unbearable still. I pray she has had a happy life . I do believe children of forced adoption are brainwashed into thinking that the adoptive parents have made better parents than their natural parent would have , how else could they excuse their part in the abduction.

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  45. I was given up for adoption in 1969. I have since reunited with my birth mother. It has been both wonderful and difficult. I am a writer, and because adoption is a subject close to my heart, I am hoping to write a novel about it. In the course of my research, I have been fortunate enough to speak to some extremely brave women who were forced to relinquish their babies in the late 60s. I am also interested in speaking to women who were forced to give up their babies in the early seventies, so to better understand the attitudes of the time. My story will be fiction, but I feel it would better serve its purpose if it were grounded in fact. So if anyone is generous enough to want to help, please do contact me at [email protected] I’d be so grateful. Thank you.

    Reply
  46. I was given up for adoption in 1956, My name was changed when i was adopted and i know my parents moved to stop my real mother from finding me. At the age of 56 It is only now that i feel i can cope with what happened to me .. i have asked myself many times why me?? Reading some of these messages i can now understand why it happened. If this was the same case for my mother .. i feel deeply for her and what she had to go through. The people who bought me up looked after me well and i have gone on to do well in my life. I wonder if i would be an intrusion in my birth mothers life now if i was to find her .. i dont know .. it seems a long time ago .. maybe things would be best left alone … but i have daughters now who ask questions and they also wonder .. i wonder how long it wil be before my granddaughters ask the same questions of me … and what answers i will give them. My heart goes outto any woman that has had to give up a baby .. i do not know the full facts of my case and i guess i never will .. but i wish my birth mother all the love in the world .. after all, you did choose to carry me for nine months … take care xx

    Reply
  47. I am writing a novel which concerns the placing of a family of 5 children into foster care with a view to adoption. I need to find out more information about the processes and agreements involved if anyone can help. Thanks

    Reply
  48. My adopted brother was born on October 15th 1968 i was told he was born in Coldwater Michigan but it could have been elsewhere he was adopted by an older couple in Lansing Michigan who happened to be my adoptive parents as well he is what they now call biracial and I was told his mom was about 15 when she was forced to give him up and that his dad was black n possibly also west indian but he may also be part hispanic I believe he was in a foster home for a short time before the adoption which took place the following summer possibly in july 1968. I dont have any other info but he wants to know his birth parents and or family and he is not angry with them he just wants to know where he comes from and to have his birth family be part of his life. He had dark curly hair at birth and was light skined. If this sounds familliar to you and you think this is the baby boy you gave up please contact me at [email protected] I also have a recent pic for any birth family members.

    Reply
  49. Su Cooper: The Bournemouth Mother and Baby home was at 11 St Albans Avenue, Bournemouth. It was associated with a local free church. I would have been there at the same time as you! I have repeatedly tried to get info about it – but can’t

    Reply
  50. My father was born 2/10/1957 in Mount Pleasant Michigan as “Baby Brush”. His mother was under 18, and lived in Clare County Michigan when she had him……..and unfortunately, that’s all we know.

    If anyone knows anything, please email me at [email protected] or find us on Facebook by searching ‘Baby Boy Brush, 2/10/1957 Michigan’

    Reply
  51. Hi my name is Jennifer. I had two daughters. Maddison and Caylee…I have an interesting situation as fare as giving my daughter away. When I had my first daughter the father of my babies was married. I lived with the family, having one daughter that was conceived in questionable circumstances was hard to play off. With all the lies I had to say I was losing track of what was true and what was a lie. When my daughter was 3 months old I found out that I was with child again. My boy friend that was still married freak out. He demanded that I abort the baby but I couldn’t do that. I’m Catholic and although I am the first to admit I’m not a saint I still believed it was immoral to take a life I had no right to terminate. Especially because it wasn’t her doing to be conceived. My boy friends brother and sister in law wanted a baby. I knew this before I was pregnant. In an effort to save my daughter and keep her close to where I can see her grow up I agreed to give them my precious bundle of joy. It’s been so hard. Especially since I see her on a regular basis. I want so bad to snatch her up and run with both of my girls. I have had to be hospitalized and given medicine for depression. Does anyone out there have a similar situation. Having your baby being raised by a family member? It would be great to share and talk about how others have gotten threw there emotions and able to move on with there lives

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  52. Award-winning film maker Sue Bourne and Wellpark Productions is making a landmark documentary for the BBC about adoption in the UK in the 1960s. 

If any of the following is relevant to you we would love to talk to you:

    • you were born and adopted between 1962 and 65 in Hampton, Staines, Heston or Isleworth
    
• you were born in West Middlesex Hospital, Lewisham or Bromley Hospital and given up for adoption between 1962 and 1965

    • you had a baby between 1962 and 1965 in Hampton, Staines, Heston or Isleworth who was subsequenty adopted.



    If any of these things apply or more information about the project you can contact us via our Facebook page, or by calling 020 8932 0133, or email: [email protected]

    Reply
  53. I was put up for adoption in 1969 I was born in st johns in chelmsford,essex . I am not sure whether it was a forced adoption or not, I was born on the 1st of june if this jogs anyones memory please get in touch.

    Reply
  54. My father was born in 1947 and taken to a mother and baby home in Putney. His name was changed when he was adopted. For some reason he seems embarrassed of his past I only found out by accident. He has never told anyone about this. He is happy for me to look for any information about my birth grandmother and will support me, although he is unable to look into this himself. I think he fears rejection. He is a great father and I would like to find out any information I can to try and give him some closure. His mothers name was Mary McLeod and he was born at St Giles Hospital, London 25 October 1947 and then went to Spencer Walk, Putney. If anyone has any information or could advise me on the next step I would be most grateful. Please email me at
    [email protected]

    Reply
  55. I was in Beechwood Mother and Baby home 1964-5 I would like to hear from Catherine Cullen who replied to a on January 12th 2012

    Reply
  56. I am a writer and about to write a fictional story about forced adoption. I was 18, initially the father stood by me. But he and my mother clashed, my mother said I had to choose, if I went to him, she would disown me. Then the rest of the pressure came, hospital, moral welfare society. I fought them all for 6 weeks, I had no one on my side in the end. …as the other single mums above say, the loss stays with you for the rest of your life – for me it’s 50 years…his birthday is on Sunday, another day of pain for me. And it hurts so much to see so many young unmarried girls with their babies…

    Reply
  57. My brother in law was born on 10th October 1960 – we have his birth certificate so know exactly who is mother is (had two further sons) but she says she hasn’t given him a second thought since the adoption. That was very hard to read. Was anyone in the St Agatha’s mother and baby unit in Stratford during autumn 1960 who could give us some background on what it was like. A quick google search found one of his half brothers on FB and also his uncle in Canada who I email regularly on the pretext of a vague family connection!

    Reply
  58. Maybe this will give some comfort to the mothers who gave their babies up for adoption.
    In February 1961,when I was 17 I gave birth to my baby son after a period of time in the Unwed mother’s home at Harrow on the Hill. I was advised to give him up but refused. To cut a long story short I did my best with very little help and my son grew into a beautiful young man with a drug habit. When he was 44 he died in a diving accident, having become very reckless due to his cocaine needs. I sometimes think I could have done better for him by giving him to someone who would have given him a more stable upbringing. Never a day goes by that I don’t think of him and wonder if I did the right thing. Bringing up a child without the support of his biological father is very hard.

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  59. Hi

    I started off researching ways of finding my friends natural parents she was adopted in London in 1951. Her mother was a ms Leeming and her father was in the American forces. My friends adoptive name is Katherine Bramton. I have come to realise its a possibility my friend was born in burdhurst parents and baby unit. If there is anyone reading this that knows about my friend or her parents I would really appreciate any information. My heart goes out to all the women and children that have been separated in the 50’s in these despicable ‘homes’ from a evil culture. It disgusts me that women and babies were treated this way by people that are supposed to help them. I think my friend was a war child as her father was in the forcers in America and he left before she was born I would be interested to talk to anyone that has a father in the either American or other troops. As I have no idea where to begin a search for this man x

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  60. I am a writer and I am thinking of writing a book about this issue. however I believe this should be the voices of all women and children not mine as I have not personally been through this ordeal. If there is anyone that is interested in having their stories written or any comments or opinions about how something like this should be written please send me an email to [email protected]

    thanks jenny

    Reply
  61. I think it’s great when mothers who gave their children away actually wanted their babies… but where are the stories about the ones who didn’t. My mother had me in the late 1960s, went to a maternity home for the last couple of months. I lived my whole life hoping she was okay, hoping that my life which didn’t turn out very well meant that she was happy. I always held her in a very special place in my heart. When our names came up and there was the potential for reunion, I agonized about whether to do it or not fearing that I might hurt her, but ultimately decided it might be the only chance I had and went ahead. She turned her back on me. That hurt so badly I can’t even describe it. She did change her mind decades later. Despite everything I welcomed her with open arms and a willing heart… and she trampled all over me. I’m not really her daughter. If I’m hurt by what she did that’s my fault for not being able to handle it, etc. As well as that she told me straight up that while she was pregnant, she and her boyfriend (not my father) were having a grand time getting it on. It didn’t matter if there was any risk to me or that I was being used because it was good for her. She was giving me away anyway and I’d never know. Once I was born she had a twinge of guilt and they broke up. Guess I wasn’t around to have fun with anymore. On top of all the rest of being abandoned and rejected and living in a horrible hole of anonymity my whole life, the ways in which I suffered emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually – that were a direct result of her actions… she has succeeded in making me feel like the most worthless piece of trash that ever existed. The person who was supposed to love me most has betrayed me and destroyed me. She did the crime but I got the life sentence. Adoption, at least from those times, IMO is an abhorrent cruelty.

    Reply
  62. I have accidentally found out my mum was forced to give up a son, who would be my half brother now – 10 years older than me. Sadly her and I do not see eye to eye and I really need help understanding so I can get over all this. Mum asked me to keep it a secret from dad that her son had tried to contact her. She made a promise to dad not to see him. How could she not??? It is a basic human right. And now for 3 years I have been forced to keep this secret from my full brother which I feel is so not fair on me. He should be told. It came up again today and I said to mum she had to tell him else I would. Mum got very angry and said dad forbids it and when I asked why, she said the decision was made to protect dads self respect! What!!! I don’t understand? What about HER self respect? What about her sons who never had his real mother! Is mum living in fear? Denial? Why is she being do cold with me? I just don’t understand

    Reply
  63. Siobhan, I have some idea about how you feel in this situation. I was in a mother and baby home myself, but resisted the adoption advice in the face of a lot of pressure. With the help of my mother (who was not at all what you would call an affectionate woman, but nevertheless was helpful) my son stayed in the family. It hasn’t been roses all the way. He has a lot of anger in him still. But I’m glad I hung on, as I had no other children. Your mother sounds pretty self absorbed, to say the least, but not all parents are saintly. I felt somewhat the same about my father. He wasn’t what I would call a bad man, but never gave me any feeling of being wanted. Years later, I found out a lot more about his background, and it included a succession of fathers and grandfathers who had abandoned their wives and children. His own father left him to the care of relatives when his mother died (he was 2) and never kept any contact again, choosing to remarry and start a new family. Knowing about that helped me to be a lot easier on my own father. So, all I’m saying is, I know it’s hard, and makes you feel very sad, but it was her problem. You were kind and strong enough to give her a chance, but she wasn’t capable of taking it, for whatever reason. Sometimes you just have to recognise that people are what they are and sort of be your own Mum or Dad. Look after yourself.

    Reply
  64. I was put up for adoption in 1967, i am only just starting the journey of trying to find my birth mother and finding it really hard to find information, I have my case notes which gives her name,age and address ( but I suspect she only stayed there until I was born)
    I would be grateful for any help in where to start

    Reply
  65. Hiya I was born 5th Jan 1970 to a lady called Ivy May Frost but was adopted in Oct that yr..my name was changed to Sharon Gray by my new parents which I have been known as since that day. ..I had two other brothers one 2 yrs younger born 72 called Robert & one 2 yrs older born 68 called Darren both were frosts at birth..robert was also adopted so am guessing his surname would have been changed from frost to his new family name but Darren as far as I know stayed with our mum Ivy so may still have frost as his last name. ..would love to b in contact With anyone of these boys or even my mum if poss as have sooo much catching up to do After 44 yrs..anyone recognise me as their sibling or daughter??

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  66. This is a message for Kay Morgan-Kerr who responded to Su Cooper’s posting. Su was actually born at 11 St Albans Avenue, and I have been in contact with her about the Home. I was actually placed in that Home from March to May 1966 where my beautiful daughter was born. I was very lucky and my parents came to take me and my daughter home When were you actually there Kay? Was it the same time as me, or was it after?

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  67. Does anyone have any photos or information on Hillside Mother and Baby Home 5 Roxborough Park, Harrow on the Hill, around 1965/66.

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  68. Message for Sue Cooper and Kay Morgan- Gurr… I was in a Mother & Baby home in Bournemouth in 1957/1958 …I think it could have been at 11.St.Albans Ave…I would be interested to hear any info anyone has about the adoption agency they used…i had to take my baby to London for adoption? And I feel the need now just to find out all the details I can..

    Reply
  69. My heart goes out to all the Birth Mothers who went through all this, and I have for the past 12 years tried to reunite some of them, if any one on here wishes help with their search , feel free to email me,. we do not charge for this, as we feel it is everyones right to find their roots, and we try offer on going support through out this emotional roller coaster. Good Luck to all those searching.

    Reply
  70. Looking for a Patricia Flaherty my paternal grandmother. She was at knowle house sagars road handforth mother and baby home. her son (my father) was born on 6th march 1959. He was named Martin Flaherty on the original birth certificate. I am helping my Dad to look for her. It would be wonderful find her i cant believe how these poor young women were treated it breaks my heart to hear your stories x

    Reply
  71. I am trying to find 2 siblings that my Mother had before me and my sister. I know she was in a Mother and Baby home, 15 Spencer Walk Putney but her child was forcibly sent back to her fathers family in Guyana. What with being a white woman and a black man in 1958 it was never going to be easy but to be forced to give up Patricia after 2 years is disgusting. She also had a Son she named colin but I know very little except he was adopted and the real father was Bill Bartlett. If there is anyone that can point me in the right direction for info I would be grateful.

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  72. Hi I was born in July 1966 at 11 St Albans Avenue. My birth mother’s name is Gillian Maddock. She was 5ft 3in. She named me Sophie but I was adopted and my name was changed. Does anyone remember her.

    Reply
    • Hi Sophie, I too was at 11 st Albans Avenue but I left in May 1966 after my baby girl was born. Sadly too early for me to know your mother Gillian. I was lucky my parents came to take me and my baby home.

      Reply
  73. Hi My name is Sarah Alburey.
    This is a long shot. I have been told that there is a possibility I have a brother even two. They would have been born in the late 50’s – 60’s. After talking to my aunt who remembers my Dad being friends with a young pregnant girl, and what we had been told we are trying to follow things up. We where told she would have been about sixteen at the time and she was sent from Essex up north somewhere. I am still trying to find a name as my aunt can’t remember. My Dad passed away at 45years old in 88. His name was Arthur Alburey. I am trying to find a sight where you can note down all the details you have for any of the adopted children from this era, so they can search and may be able to match the names of biological parents. My Dad’s dob is 15/04/1943 He was born in Nottingham and moved with his parents at only 6mths old to Haroldhill. Essex. He grew up there and until moving to Brentwood, Essex as an Adult. Please if anyone has any information can you contact me

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  74. I am searching for a mother who had a male child on 7/20/69 the day the man walked on the moon. Would be a very memorable day. University Hospitality Salt Lake City, Utah. Childrens Aid Society on Ogden, Utah adopted him out to a wonderful family. But looking for birth family for many reasons. To see traits, possibly reunite and very importantly health. Any information if you know the person or was around there then please call 615-636-9137.

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  75. I just stumbled onto this website ,have searched for years and years for a half sister her name given at birth Cherry Glenys Garrard, Born in the Hackney Hospital in Hackney, London England on March 4th 1945 . I have her birth certificate and the adoption is blocked out . I saw her at 2 days old she had yellow jaundice because of my mother smoking,I was the oldest of 4 siblings and the only one to know about this pregnancy . I have lived in the USA for 62 years and each year that I HAVE GONE BACK TO ENGLAND TO VISIT FAMILY HAVE SEARCHED FOR HER many many times and long hours from the USA spent looking for her . My Mother has since passed away and this was never spoken about, my Father is also gone but said he would never adopt her because she wasn’t his I myself along with my sister and two brotjers would welcome her with open arms. I do have one item that belonged to her Dad who I knew. and would like to give it to her Thank you for all and any help Daphne Majewski

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  76. I was born on 6 September 1949 in Woking. I believe I was adopted at 6 months. It is probably too late to think about looking for my birth mother. I can say that I was adopted by a war widow who gave me a wonderful life, a good education and the opportunity to get work. I did apply for my original birth certificate after my Mother died, but I would have to meet a Social Worker to see my file – I wasn’t keen. I still work full time but if I were to retire I would have time to undertake the search. I am a single parent with a 30 year old son – it never crossed my mind to have him adopted.

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  77. I just found out I was adopted as a new born; taking place Dec of 1957, in Jacksonville Fl. I have be told my birth mother name is Marsha Riley. My adopt mother(Mavis Estelle Clary) just passed away on May 31, 2014.. I would love to fine my birth mother to thank her for loving me enough to make sure I was given a good life. I also pray that God has blessed Marsha Riley with a wonderful life.

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  78. I was born on 19th December 1969 at StJohn’s Chelmsford,Essex. My mother was 16 years old and came from Poland with her parents’. Her name was Margaret. Can anyone help me with any info.

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  79. Message for Sophie. I was also at 11 St Albans Avenue, Bournemouth but just a bit earlier in the year than your Mum. I was there from March to May 1966, so will not remember her. Have you managed to trace your birth mother?

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  80. Su Cooper.. I was in a Mother and Baby home in Bournemouth in 1965.. Where my baby was born and from
    Where she was adopted. Please get in touch. Your post was in 2012

    Reply
    • Pam, I was in the Home at 11 St Albans Avenue, Bournemouth from March 1966 to May 1966 where my beautiful baby girl was born. I was lucky because my parents came to take me and my baby home but I had to witness the distress of other girls who were forced to give their babies up for adoption No one ever told us that there were benefits available so that these girls could have kept their babies,

      Reply
  81. i was born march 14,1967 adopted at 6 days old, i was born in butler,pa i also have 4 missing siblings . would love to meet my mother i cant imagine giving a child up . she must of thought she couldnt provide for my needs, i want her to know im ok,,and grateful

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  82. Message for Sue, No I haven’t been successful yet in tracing her but still remain hopeful. Not sure what to do next. Thanks for your reply.

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  83. Hi, the people who are supposed to be my parents I now know without any doubt are not my biological parents, I have no idea at all how I came to be in their care.
    Is there anyone out there who can give me some tips on where to start searching for clues too finding out who my real parents were.

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  84. Hello, I feel I was one of the stolen babies in the US during 1958. I feel that there are several of us too that never knew we were taken away from our birth mothers. It seems like this was a normal activity back then and everyone involved was approving this. But, the only problem was the mothers were not allowed to be mothers. And this caused such a turn around in our world. Lies were accepted. Identities were falsified with legal approval. This shift in morals and standards is our recent history has made our world a very uncaring and highly negative world. I was raised among criminals who lied all the time about who I really was. It is a crime against humanity that occurred over and over. I feel my healing journey has brought me closer to the place where I was born and sent the fake family far away from me.

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  85. I am the neice Of DAVID Seeking David Born between 1928-1931 to my Grandmother Elsie Maud Pasturel Of Jersey Channel Islands. She was born in 1914, However her mother Died of Heart problems and Elsie, also ten other siblings taken to the Convent we believe possibly FCJ in Jersey 1925 were she was brought up. We were told a baby boy called David was born in Jersey then adopted presume some mother baby home in Jersey. My grandmother was brain washed that it was best, but she could never really forget, Always helpless to any information was not available in Tracing David. The Father unknown, presume he had the Pasturel surname. Not sure When Or Where David would have been or of whom he was adopted to. David would be 84 hope he had a happy life,
    If any one knows anything. Please leave a comment.
    Thank you.

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  86. Hi.
    I am a writer doing some research on family history/forced adoption and wondered if anyone would like me to help with their history? I do need some personal experiences and case studies are the best way forward. I do a lot of family history research but this is something I am really interested in writing a book about and would like if possible to help some families along the way. I note this website goes back a few years so not sure how many people are still looking but if any of you would like to contact me by leaving a comment, I would really love to speak to you

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  87. Hi Louisa my name is Megan. I am in the process of trying to help my father look for his birth mother. My father was adopted from a mother and baby home in handforth Cheshire. It was called Knowle House on Sagars road Handforth. My dad was born 06/03/1959. I have his original birth certificate and which states he was named Martin at birth. His birth Mothers name is Patricia Flaherty. When i contacted manchester city council to loacte my fathers adoptive file they said that there was no record. Conveniently there was an arson attack on knowle house in the 90’s which is all I could find on the internet. There is NOTHING about the home it is so frustrating! Mt father lives in Miami but we speak often and I would so love to help him find her. Please let me no your thoughts. Kind regards, Megan

    Reply
  88. Looking for my mums sister who was born in 1960/61 at hope hospital, Salford, Manchester. My nanna her birth mother name was Marjorie Tymon she was 15 and the nuns made her give her baby up for adoption at birth. Claire was the name given to baby by the mother at the time. Please if u see this we would like to meet u.

    Reply
  89. Hi im looking for a child for my mother inlaw as she like many had to part with her son on her mothers say so 6 wks after giving birth in a unit for mother and baby and has struggled with this loss all of her life.

    His name was Stephen and he was born 14th july 73 in Fairfield hospital bury his real mum is named Sheila but we know nothing about his adoptive parents sadly.

    Any help would be greatfully appreciated thank you and love to all those that went through the same I carnt imagine the pain x

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  90. I was in a Catholic Mother and Baby Home, St Annes in Leigham Court Rd, Streatham; from late December 1963 to March 1964. We had just the resident warden and a younger woman who came in now and then. There was very basic food, no extra milk. The daily breakfast plan included making porridge ourselves and mounds of extra toast – the reason being, we could snack on cold toast and jam after the housework which involved heavy cleaning.

    In the common room later in the day we listened to the radio, knitted, read and chatted.
    When we went into labour there was transfer to St Theresas Maternity Home in Wimbledon, run by nuns. They were determined to make us feel ‘bad’. I spent my labour on a trolley in a sluice room and was forgotten till I shouted, just once, in the late stages. After the birth, bottle feeding was the norm because most of us had been forced to sign adoption papers. In a ward of ‘good’ married mothers, a chaplain passed by the end of my bed with all speed. A social worker appeared by the bed on the first day for one more signature.

    So my daughter was adopted at a month old following 2.5 weeks back in the Home. My mother had never known I was pregnant till she was contacted during my labour, then appeared and kept saying it was for the best.

    My daughter found me when she was 28, and it was nothing like Nicky Campbell’s programmes. We had a wonderful correspondence for four months till she felt ready for us to meet, then we spent two Saturdays together. She was determined I would not meet her two sons, and she made a living as a stripper and wandered as a New Age traveller. After my being on cloud nine for a while, she decided she ‘didn’t want a relationship’ with me, but had satisfied her curiosity,that was it. Bye!

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  91. Im looking for my son born sept 1971 in sheffield south yorkshire. He was taken away from me at 6 wks old and went to be adopted. Although i went on to have to wonderful children and 3 gorgous grandsons i have never felt complete and all my life since the day you was taken away my heart could never mend im trying to find andrew peter radford although i do believe his name could have been changed all i know he went to live with a family in the sheffield area and the man was a steel worker. Please contact me if you have any info

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  92. Hi lousia, Im looking for my birth son and just seem to come to a blank no one wants to give you any info just want to charge you, dont these people understand we have suffered enough through no fault of our own, any help you could give me would be much appreciated and in return maybe i can help you.
    I was sent to st agathas in sheffield ,i only lived a 15 minute walk away but i wasnt allowed to go anywhere near my family or my boyfriend they could visit on a sunday
    I have tryed to block it out of my head you have to or you wouldnt survive,i cant remember anyone in st agathas been cruel but i can remember the feeling of loneliness.
    plse contact me if we can help each other janet

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  93. Is it possible you could contact the ITV programme that is on each week? They have the ways of doing the tracing – I don’t believe it is the two presenters themselves. I am always hearing how it is meant be simplified nowadays for biological mothers, but ‘professional’ tracing is probably quicker. Good luck in your search. I was searching in the eighties and early nineties then she found me and is now age 50, wherever she is.

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  94. Hi, I’m a polish student from Adam Mickiewicz University in Poznań. I write my thesis about illegal adoptions (illegal means for me if someone forced you to give your baby to adoption) and I would like to ask You to help me. Can you answer a couple of my quesions? I can imagine it’s really hard but I hope there’re some people who can help me. I will be really grateful.

    here is the link to my questionnaire -> http://moje-ankiety.pl/respond-63052/sec-d3EyTTSY.html

    Thank You, I wish you all to find kids and parents that you’re looking for

    Anna Kałużna

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  95. Hi everyone.. I have been reading some of your stories here and it gives me some hope perhaps that I may make a connection with the mother of a baby boy who was given up for adoption. I have some very important information for his birth mother. I know her first and last name initials were VF. She was 17 at the time and the birth was registered in the midlands (sorry being a bit cryptic here but I have to be careful as do not want to give too much away) .. she was sent to a mother and baby home in London, I may have the address somewhere here. I was told she was about 17 when she had him and he was born on the 4th January 1954. She had the most amazing sky blue eyes which he also inherited from her and I was told that he looked just like her. He was a gorgeous baby boy and was adopted by a Welsh couple when he was about 2 months old, she openly wept as she handed him over to his ‘new’ parents. I hope someone reads this and puts 2 and 2 together and comes up with the right equation. I am so anxious to speak with her or at least with someone in the family who hopefully knows of this situation and can come forward! Her age would be approx 77 now. It is 3.46am here as I have been on the internet since 9.30pm researching various possible marriage names for her based on the info I have and then I stumbled upon this page. Now I must go to bed!

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  96. Does anyone know of a childrens home in Saint Albans ave in the 1950s known as gordies, or gordys I was in this home for about 4 years & there was an Ann& an Elizabeth there. It may have been 18 to 20 St. Albans at the top of the hill.

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  97. Hi. I was adopted out at 2 weeks old from a london England hospital in 1969 from a birth mother call K.A.GILL.she signed me over Melinda gill . She was from new Zealand aged 23years old . Birth father from Denmark 23 years old as well. I was a hoilday romance baby. Just what to know if look like anyone else in this world. Just a lost soul needing some answers!!! Thanks for any help!

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  98. I am searching for my Daughter( Susanne that’s the name I gave her,could be different now) that I had to give up for adoption in 1967, born at Central Middlesex Hospital on February 12 1967,and then stayed at a mother and baby unit at Ladbrooke Grove London, and taken from me 2 weeks later, by a lady wearing a scarf,that’s my last memory,can anyone please help me,Bridget Enright

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  99. how can I find out information about someone who was probably born in 1958 at a Home for unwed mothers in Leavenworth, KS? I have just learned about this possibility and have no idea where to start to look for this person.

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  100. I too have heard you can find out information about someone who was born 1963 at a home for unwed mothers, I would dearly love to know where and how to start looking I would be very greatful for information recieved

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  101. I was adopted in 1943 during the 2nd WW. my birth mother was married he was fighting overseas and she had two children. she went out with an American soldier, didn’t know his name, she had me.In 2013 I found her on ancestry and wrote to her, she told me not to write again as she didn’t want all that brought back up but I wrote to her again and now we write to each other but she didn’t want her family to know. Now on ancestry her grandson found me on there and told his family that I had been found .I have 4 brothers that I have never met. she is 93 years old. I am afraid that now that her secret is out she will not write to me any more

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  102. I am writing a memoir about being in a mother and baby home in 1963/4. I visited the site of my home a while ago and it is once more a family house. So I am not sure that starting from the home would help as there must be fewer homes in existence now. However, if you were born to a young woman living in such a home, I’d like to talk to you in confidence.

    Note: If you leave a comment to the effect that you would like to talk to Jane in confidence, this will be passed directly to Jane without being published on the website. Website Moderator

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  103. Please can anyone help me? After fifty years the mother of my child born in 1963 and I have recently been in touch again and she gave birth to our son in St Johns Mother and baby home Ashley Hill Bristol Then she was moved to south Mead at Cliffton, she cared for the baby for 12 weeks then it was taken from her, I now live in Australia and I have promised to see if we could get in touch with our son but I would like some guidance in how people try and find their children, he will be 51 on 22 September and we would dearly love to find him as its been far to long and we would really love to have a reunion and to try and explain to him why all this was done. Thanks..

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  104. Hi my name is Gary I was born in April 67 and given up for adoption My birth mother is called Audrey Stothard. If this rings any bells anywhere please leave message here-good luck to all in THE search!!!!!!!!

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  105. To Mary
    I was wondering if you could confirm the day of the week in 1974 that your daughter was born if in May?

    As an “adoptee,” I understand the emotional turmoil that society had imposed upon many women & some men regarding the heart-breaking decisions into which biological parents have been shamed, bullied, threatened & cohersed.(plz excuse my spelling.)

    To be so powerless must only add frustration to any deceit that you have experienced, & I should like to let you know that as an “adoptee” there is always a connection despite all the veils.

    I would like to know a little of my biological parentage, however, I may well end up rocking more than one boat, & have no desire to cause any trauma to anyone.

    I cry & send a prayer for the family I have known & the ones I don’t.

    If your answers to my questions tally I would be surprised.

    Best of luck.
    Newbould

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  106. Looking for my half sister adopted in the name of ‘Martine Savage’ birthday 3rd November 1971. Would have been Birmingham area. Any information would be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks

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  107. I had a baby daughter in 1969s I lived in a Church of England children home in Harrow London and she was born in a local hospital. I would like to try and find her as I am in poor health and time could be running out. I do not know how to do this can you help me please.
    My name was Carole Williams at the time she was born I called her Jennifer.
    Your Carole Wilson

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  108. I just discovered this week that my nan may have had a child before my mum. My nan was previously married with 3 children, she would have been around 30, she had an affair and became pregnant by the man she had an affair with and so left her first family, her dad then placed her in a home, disgraced by her, where she had the baby. My nan passed away in 2011 and as the info has come from her sister the details are vague and she doesn’t remember every detail. I’ve been told it was in a mother and baby home in great baddow in Chelmsford essex in the late 1950’s – possibly 58/59 – and the baby was a girl who was sent to Scotland with adoptive family. Then apparently the girl came and found my nan when she was about 16 but my nan didn’t want a relationship and the girl went back to Scotland. My aunt doesn’t remember the girls birth name and I have no idea where to start. No one knew anything about this!?! Any help would be greatly received.

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  109. hi im looking for my half brother and sister who dont know each other exists or me, i have recently found out my mother had tw other kids in 78 and 79 their birth names were Mark Anthony Mcgreene and Melissa Mcgreene they were adopted out individually in nottingham.Any info would be greatfully recieved by me and other siblings …

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  110. I stumbled across this site whilst looking for a particular mother and baby home. Although 50 years have passed I still find it difficult to open up to anyone about what happened to me. I had it drummed into me it had never to be mentioned to anyone. I am desperate to open up and eventually try to find out about the home I was in to try to find some of the girls I remember from there to see if they can verify my memories of the home.I am writing my memoirs from my birth to today . I am doing this not only for my sake but I want my daughter to know about my life , how we lived , every house we lived in etc. I have told her she has a brother and what I had to go through, her response was comforting and seems to have given me courage to take things further but slowly, eventually maybe I could find out something about my son , I think of him every single minute of every day

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  111. Hi,

    I am trying to help my mother on law find her daughter who was born in Poole General Hospital in 1968. Her birth date would be 30th June 1968.

    After she was born her mother had to take her to a place in Bournemouth where she remembers nuns taking her daughter, could this be the Mother and Baby Home in St. Albans Ave? Was there another place in Bournemouth where nuns took children for adoption?

    She also remembers her social worker being a Mrs willoboughby, who was very kind but advised her to not trace her daughter when she managed to contact her in the 70’s.

    Any help with this would be great, many thanks.

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  112. Hi trying to obtain an address for the mother and baby home in Cambridge in the 1960’s.
    It’s a story that has troubled me and everybody associated with the birth and adoption of Michelle in 1965 thanks

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  113. I was born at St Stephens Hospital Chelsea 1948. My mother was Irish & lived in Philbeach Gardens Kensington. I was fostered at the age of about 10 months. Any information re this matter I would be very grateful for. Not knowing your past is like an empty hole in your heart. Teresa. 11th October 2014.

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  114. Carolyn: I was in 11 St Albans Ave Bournemouth in 1965. This was not a Catholic Home so was not Staffed by nuns. It was a horrible place staffed by people determined to punish us for our sins. I hope the poor mums who had the same experience have found peace in their lives.

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  115. I was born in 1960 illegitimate, I was one of the few babies who went home with my mother, my mother refused to give me up and her parents conceded in the end, they were kind people but very elderly.

    However, once the initial baby love wore off after about a year and my mother realised that she had no job, no proper home and had lost her youth it was clear she regretted not having me adopted.

    We lived in a horrible rat infested flat in a city until she remarried. She barely tolerated me and would stare into space rather than look at me. My stepfather despised me and would often call me a bastard to my face and beat me very badly while my mother turned a blind eye. When I was 16 he threw me out and she didn’t object. I was so terrorised that I was just a little silent mouse.

    I have had no contact with my mother for many years and no longer wish to see or hear from her. To all intents and purposes she is dead to me. You would think that she had come from a poor background but in fact our family had been society people just a generation ago and had mixed with royalty and the upper classes. They all rejected my mother and I as a result of my illegitimacy.

    I used to dream about being adopted by a nice couple who lived in the country and had lots of pets (my mother always hated animals). I have had no life at all and it took me years to persuade myself that I had any worth.

    It is only at 54 that I have a good career and a loving husband and family that I am beginning to feel like an ordinary human being instead of an unwanted stigma.

    Sometimes being adopted is not all bad. You have no guarantee that your birth parents were nice people at all, they could have been abusive nightmares like mine were.

    I hope that none of you are under the illsions that everything will be fine once you have been reunited with your birth parents because it isn’t always the case. Be grateful for what you have if your adoptive parents were good people and loved you.

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  116. Looking for my sister called Vivienne who ithink now lives in godalming Surrey our mum was called Jean lemon and dad John lemon who died in 2006. We also have a brother called Kevin @ Michael. We lived in liphook and I was given away when I was 2 weeks old. Please help me find her.

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  117. Hello all who are following up on the home at 11 St. Albans Ave. in Bournemouth. I too have been researching this home as a close friend was born there on June 8, 1940. Seems the home was around for quite a long time. The librarian in Bournemouth did some research on the place and came up with resources that may be of help in finding records. Here is the link to the string of emails regarding Free Church Council Rescue Maternity and Training Home for Girls.
    http://archiver.rootsweb.ancestry.com/th/read/DORSET/2003-07/1059590603
    Hope this helps someone in their search. If anyone knows about the births back in 1940 or anything on the family name Martin, please leave a comment. [This will be passed to Christine but not published. Website Moderator]

    Christine

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  118. I’m looking for a lady born Denise A Harden in Chelmsford essex in 1951 I believe she was given up for adoption so may not have this name any longer. All I know is she was sent/taken to Scotland and tried to find her birth mother in the early 60’s but was apparently turned away and not welcomed. Any info welcomed please

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  119. I got pregnant at 15 and ironically it happened on my catholic baptism day.i was never baptized as a baby due to being born a premmie and then other things came up so it was put off untill i was 15.Even tho i had lost my virginity a year earlier at 14 to a guy at a party,my parents still dressed me in the traditional white,poofy,midthigh length babptism dress with a matching bonnet,lace anklets and white ‘mary jane’ shoes.they had me wear the normal cloth diaper,plastic pants[rubberpants] and tee shirt under the dress.My boyfriend,David,who was 16.came to my party and was really turned on by seeing me in my baptism outfit.after my party,and feeling a little light headed from the champange i had,we went over to his house to be alone as his parents were out of town.We started necking and then one thing led to another and he unzipped my baptism dress and pulled it off of me and saw my tee shirt,diaper and rubberpants and got really aroused.we then went to his bedroom and he took off his clothes and we got on his bed.I was really light headed by now and wasnt fully aware of what was happening.he pulled my rubberpants down and off and then unpinned my diaper and got on top of me and we had intercourse.a while later,i got redressed and he walked me home.the next month,i missed my period and the month after that and so on and was feeling sick most of the time.I got a pregnancy test and used it and it came up positive! I was scared and didnt know what to do.i told david i was pregnantand he said he would be there for me and be supportive.I finially told my parents and they were livid,not believing that i did this on my baptism day,but i told them it was true.they gave in and became supportive of me and 9 months later i had a baby boy and he was put up for adoption since i was still young and in high school and they didnt want to help raise him.he was adopted by a loving family and is now 10 years old.

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  120. Hello Louisa Jones. My story does not exactly tie in with your book. However you might be interested. I was born at 11 St. Albans Avenue on 24th. August 1941. My mothers name was Gertrude clark. She died 23 years ago. I was not adopted. The identity of my father is unknown. He was rumoured to be in the Guards. Also that he denied parentage. Possibly that he was involved as a solicitor!. I was fobbed off with the story that he died in the war.No name was ever given to me; and my mother took her secret to the grave. Not even her sister knew! I have some unidentified photos. It would have been around the time Brian Johnstone was in Parkstone. He would certainly have know her. She played the Piano and the accordian at local venues, and was very attractive. I have often wondered if his family have any wartime photos corresponding to mine. I do not know how to obtain a list of the Guards billeted in Parkstone in 1940/41.
    Any suggestions or comments from you or anyone would be welcome. I know I have another family somewhere. Thank you.
    Yvonne Challen Bournemouth.

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  121. Hi I was placed in a mother and baby home in Chelmsford Bartletts new London road in 1974 and my baby as born on 30th April 1975 I named him Christopher mark Norris I was forced to give him away by my Victorian parents I cared for him for 10 days in st johns I had kniited all his cardigans and other items the social worker came after ten days and dragged him from my arms and I was taken homeand expected to carry on with my life I was told I wild.not be able to cope never asked me if I cld I had to have a doc come to my parents house who gave me sleeping tablets I am now 56 and having him taken from me was the worst thing that has happened in my life if anyone has any info about my son or where at the Bartletts mother and baby home Chelmsford wild love to hear from you

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  122. I was adopted in 1965, born in Guidford, and adopted from an orphanage in Sheringham, and would just love to thank my birth mother ,(Elizabeth Ann Mansfield) so, if you ever read this, and never get in touch, you did the right thing, i was loved and supported…….i thank you, from the bottom of my heart, they are now both deceased, but loved me, as i’m sure you would have done. The sacrifice you made was monumental…and i’m honoured to be your child xxxxx

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  123. Ann, did you find any information on ‘Hillside Mother and Baby Home 5 Roxborough Park, Harrow on the Hill’? I too am seeking information on that era.

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  124. I am looking for someone who was registered as JOANNE ELIZABETH DOB 17/06/73 BORN IN NORTHAMPTON GENERAL RETURNED TO A MOTHER AND BABY HOME IN NEWPORT PAGNELL

    biological mother’s name: Pauline
    biological father’s name: Dave

    This story is similar to many here, a mother who was persuaded into giving up her daughter as it was ‘the right thing to do’. We think Joanne was adopted by a school teacher and a bank manager. Her mother has important medical information to pass on to Joanne but more than that is desperate to find the daughter she misses. If you are Joanne and would rather not be in contact with your birth mother she understands, but it is important to her that you know her medical history. The adoption agency could not trace Joanne and her adopted family as they moved without providing their new address.

    We’re also looking for the name of a mother and baby home in Newport Pagnell, can anyone help?

    Thank you

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  125. Hi my name is Margaret Reed I’m named after my bio grammie I’ve never met.My dads dieing wish was for me to find our family…. my dad’s name at birth was Christopher Dejesus Reed and was born in Grasemere nh. October 19th 1958 not sure if he was born in his family.

    Plz help me there has to be a women out there that had a baby boy October 19th 1958 n looking for him or family….. Her name is MARGARET REED her son was born blue eyes blond hair. My dad will be missed he searched n searched for his mom I told him i stop looking till I find her he wanted to meet her so much…..

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  126. I’ve just found this website. Everyone speaks of children adopted however has anyone ever come across the problem of Children being given away and never adopted? When I was 7 yrs old I lived in Hunslet, Leeds, West Yorkshire when all the local children had ignored me for years saying I wasn’t one of them. When I asked my mum what they meant she told me she couldn’t have children and so her ‘auntie’ had got me for her and my dad from Scotland. During their life they refused to tell me where they had got me from other than an auntie in Fife ‘arranged it’ and I came from within the family in Scotland which I never knew even existed. I was at least 2 1/2 years old in 1956 when I lived on a croft in rural Aberdeenshire and remember things. I had some pictures taken which I still have then I was told to go to the corner of the hoos where a woman who took the pictures put me in a large black car and drove away with me. We drove through country and eventually arrived in a built up area where my ‘new mum’ got into the car. She was in two minds about taking me but the woman driving the car said it was too late to take me back now so she agreed to take me and when asked said I was going to be called ‘Geoffrey’ yuk I never liked the name. I believe prior to that I was called James. We were taken to a harbour and put in a room full of fish boxes under the wheelhouse of a wooden fishing boat, believed a trawler. It was frightening and eventually we got off at a harbour and made our way to a large house up a lane where there was a nun who said we could stay the night. We left the following morning and my new mum was given some documents about me she had to take somewhere else. I fell asleep in the push chair by the harbour as the boat had left to deliver fish elsewhere and had to wait for the tide to get back into the harbour. The next thing I remember is that we got off the boat at Scarborough Harbour, North Yorkshire and we went round the marine drive where I met my ‘new dad’ for the first time. Eventually we went to Hunslet then and industrial area of Leeds where my ‘new parents’ had a newsagents shop. The area was demolished in 1962 ad we moved to North Leeds where I lived in or in the villages and a town from 1962 until 2006. I was never allowed anything to do with my dad’s family and knew only my mum, dad and my mum’s mum really. When I was 18 my dad said he had fulfilled his contract and the money he had got for me every week had stopped when I was 18 but as I’d been a good son and caused no problems he would not be telling me to leave the home. My mum told me about the money they got when I was 7 years old but they never told me where it came from or why they got it and I never understood. My dad died suddenly in 1976 when I was 21 and took the secret with him. He didn’t even want me with him the last night he was alive in hospital he wanted his two sisters who I never knew he told me to go and look after my mum which I did. My mum never told me where I was from but did tell me who the auntie was but Scotland meant nothing to me other than the country above England. My mum died suddenly in 1983 and when I went for the will reading with her solicitor I was told my mum had recently contacted her and told her ‘to destroy’ the records she had on me and she was unable to even tell me what they were due to client confidentiality. All she said was my mum wanted them destroyed to ‘protect me’ but I’ve no idea what from. I was therefore stuck apart from a clue when the priest at Mount St Marty’s Catholic church, Richmond Hill, Leeds said he had seen my records. That confused me as I’ve never been Catholic but in the weeks and months after that I was knocked down by a drunken driver and my mum died and I forgot about it. The marriage fell apart in 2002 and by a strange quirk of fate I ended up living in Aberdeenshire or rather I’d found myself living in Aberdeenshire again. All I had were the pictures taken the day I left ‘the croft’, a gravestone picture in 1915 and my mum’s dad’s birth certificate. In mid 2006 I was shocked to find the croft still exist yet I recognised it as soon as I saw it as it has a specific lay out and garden but until 2006 I never knew where it was. The family who owned the croft sold it in 1964 and it has taken me 8 years to find the remnants of my m um’s dad’s family who are scattered in Aberdeen, Canada, USA, Edinburgh and Fife. Unfortunately those who were supposedly involved i’e my mum’s dad’s brothers and sisters are deceased and I’m left with cousin’s aged in the main 75 to 89 and a recent one I found is aged 61. They had all heard of my mum’s dad but only knew he went to Leeds, some had heard of my mum but no one had ever heard of me. However I did find one of the pictures from the set taken in 1956 in the album of one of my ‘cousin’s’ mothers but they deny all knowledge of who the girl in the picture was’. It was me but for some reason I was dressed as a girl and had long hair in 1956. I also have a picture of me with my real mum but no one will admit to knowing who she is and there are mysteriously no pictures of the eldest son now deceased or of two other female cousins who may be my real mum and or dad whilst one cousin of my age has stopped talking to me and is very nervous when I phone him and makes an excuse to cut the call short. I’ve never been adopted in England or Scotland. My birth certificate is from a Catholic maternity home Mount Carmel, Houghley Lane, Bramley, Leeds in 1954 but it was 1956 before I got to Leeds it is my understanding from enquiries that my mum’s son died and was buried in a grave in a Leeds area cemetery at the time outside Leeds and never registered as deceased and I have his certificate. I’ve contacted Catholic Care in Leeds who deny Mount Carmel existed despite my birth certificate saying I was born there and my ‘new mum’ having a daughter there in 1956 who later died aged 7 days. I’ve even found an article from the Yorkshire Evening News November 1954 relating to the maternity home saying it was staying open so it did exist. I spent 8 years looking for the big house with the nun and found it on 1st November 2014 it is the Carmelite Monastery at Dysart, Kirkcaldy and the harbour at Dysart is still there they are in a conservation area and it had not changed for 100 years this is the p[lace we spent the night. I phoned the Monastery and a nun put the phone down on me, I went there but there is no way in. I left a letter on 1st November 2014 but have never had a reply so I’ve just sent a recorded delivery letter to the monastery asking for my records. I was passed through Dysart monastery and can describe the inside whilst I was with my ‘new mum ‘ in 1956 when she took the letters to another place where ‘nun’s were somewhere near Leeds. She never told me where it was but in 1991 I was sent to work in Boston Spa near Wetherby and found the ‘house’ it was St Mary’s Children’s home run by nun’s on behalf of the Catholic Church in Leeds. P assume my ‘new mum’ got copies of the records so the original records are at Dysart Monastery whilst St Mary’s children’s home closed in 2008 so the records are hidden away somewhere by the church as are the records for Mount Carmel Maternity Home. In November 2014, I was reading the Leodis Old Leeds archive website when I saw a picture of the building where my mum used to go and collect money for me when we lived in Hunslet in an envelope she then bought clothes for me with in Leeds City centre. In 1974 this was the Leeds area DVLC but in 1956 it was the headquarters of the Kingston Unity Friends Society and upstairs was the unity lodge of the Oddfellows institute which at the time was the Leeds version of the masons. Only 3 lodges now exist the Unity Lodge apparently disappeared in 2011 whilst Kingston Unity Friends Society is now in Wakefield and have no records that far back they say ‘the grand master’ of the lodge would have the records To make matters worse Kingston Unity club was the haunt of dishonest and corrupt police officers who tried to blackmail me for years into doing things that were dishonest which would have made me as bad as them. They demanded money from me to send to the children who had been left in Scotland and would only tell me who I really was if I paid them, as I never paid I was never told but they destroyed my career. Has anyone any knowledge of Scots babies and children being given away to ‘deserving people in Leeds’ who were [paid through the Oddfellows. I came across a few people in the Harehills area who said they ‘knew my secret’ the problem is I didn’t and they would never tell me I presume they thought because I was in the Police I was corrupt also when I wasn’t. I remember articles in the Yorkshire Evening Post from 1983 and every 5 years since relating to babies given away through Aberdeen Royal Infirmary maternity unit through Leeds General Infirmary Unity maternity unit but the Evening Post never reply, the babies were given away in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Where I now live witnesses say babies were taken from the back door of the local hospital and simply registered as someone else’s however some of the babies ended up in Kirkcaldy and Dysart but this was stopped in 1971. I did report this to Police Scotland and out of the 17,500 officers they could have sent they sent one who worked in Leeds in 1986 and contacted me with a view to me going back home as he had the ‘list of missing children’. I was told to shut up, forget about it, say nothing to no one or else and then the officer left. I made a complaint about this20 months ago and no one has ever been back in touch and no one will tell me who is dealing with the matter so we are talking about a first class cover up. The only positive point is I must have a birth certificate up here and my surname can be only one of four. I was told my parents were married and just couldn’t afford to keep me and that narrows it down to two sisters but everywhere I go I get a wall of silence, I would have thought the Catholic Church would have come clean on this and can’t understand why they are behaving as they do all I want is my records to know who I am and nothing else. If they didn’t know they wouldn’t put the phone down on me and refuse to answer my letters both there and in Leeds. This doesn’t allegedly happen now but it wasn’t supposed to happen then, the adoption act was Scotland 1949 referring to adoption agencies but social services only came into being in 1948 and they deny all knowledge of what went on. It was arranged by nurses and or midwives and lists of available babies were displayed in nurses rest rooms telling them where babies were available. I’ve only found all this pout since mid 2006 and only realised I really did come from Scotland in mid 2006. There will be no computerised records records will be hidden away in some vault or cellar unless the nuns had a bonfire. Has anyone come across this scenario which although between Aberdeen, Dysart and Leeds seems to be linked to the Carmelite nuns of which only 200 survive all living a life of solitude and prayer locked away in monasteries in the UK. Thanks for reading.

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    • Hi, I was also told that I was born in Mount carmel in Leeds in 1956, and I can find no trace of the records of it. I wasn’t adopted, I was kept but have always wanted to know why my mum went there. Did ypu ever find any more info about it?

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  127. Hi, I am looking for Paul McCulloch (birth name) born 11th March 1967 in Harrogate, Yorkshire, given up for adoption in the same year, been searching for years, thank you for any help.

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  128. Hello, I am looking for my birth mother. I was born in Aldershot in 1965. My mother was Fenella Best and she was born in 1945. I was born as Robert Paul Best- Father is unknown. I also believe that i have a female sibling? My adoptive parents know nothing of this though! Any help/Advice/Info would be appreciated! ty

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  129. hi, I am trying to find a lady named marie mcgrath who was in the liverpool area in the 1960’s. Marie had a daughter Eileen born in July 1961 at Kelton Lodge convent, Eileen was given up for adoption when she was a few months old. If anyone has any information for Marie Mcgrath or any help of suggestion where to try would be really appreciated. My email address is [email protected]. Thanks.

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  130. Zena S. Hockley
    Annette Francis-White I hope you see this (so long after your note ) I am your sister, I have tried via Council Social Services giving all the information I had. They said tracing an adopted person had to go through an intemediary. A letter was sent Dec.2009 it must have got lost. If you would still like contact I am here or you could contact London Borough of Bexley. Childrens Placement Services. Bexley Civic Offices. They still have all my information.

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  131. I’m looking for news of my birth mother Rose Doris Stone, my registered birth address is the Mother & Baby home at 5 Roxborough Park Harrow. I was born February 1961 was firstly fostered by the Barker’s Diana & Cyril, until they adopted me in July 1962.
    My birth mother visited me regularly until she was encouraged to let my foster family adopt me when I was 17 months old so I have a nagging feeling that may of thought about me over the years. I’ve tried all the normal routes & registers etc. but she has never signed up for contact. Sadly, I’ve lost both my adopted parents but still have two wonderful brothers, I had a lovely childhood & a great adult life so it’s all goodness. However, I’d just like to know my birth mother was OK & that she went on to have a happy healthy life. I recently had to fill some forms that included my birth details etc. hence those nagging feelings arose again. Questions such as is she still alive? Did she go on to have more children? I’m not looking to impose on anyone’s life or expose secrets etc. I’d just like to know for my own piece of mind what happened to my birth mother.

    Reply
  132. My brave mother was forced to give me up for adoption at the home for unwed mothers, Mercy Hospital, Coral Gables, FL in 1969. I was blessed to have survived my mother as she committed suicide when the nuns forced her to give me away. My father was drafted to Vietnam and the nuns in their habit of righteousness demanded that we were the Devils cHildren. And then they changed our names and sold us. I have never spent a single waking moment without trying to breathe for her. I am now 45 years old and have a little girl, whom I call my angel. She is the reason we all survived, and God will answer to the choices of the disgust that took our mothers away. I will never leave her side. I love you Mommy. Fly…. I’m ok…

    Reply
  133. My father was adopted in Anson Jones County,Tx in October 1968.
    I am looking for my fathers biological family. Ever since i found out my father was adopted at birth, ive been seeking for answers. My grandmother now has been good with raising him, the man who adopted him with my grandmother bailed and had another family. My father is the only one. I want to know if he has biological brothers and sisters.Its been kind of hard finding out who his biological mother is because his adopted files are sealed.

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  134. Hi, my heart goes out to all of yous, my husband is wanting to find his birth parent/parents, the only information we have that he has a Northamptonshire adoption service birth certificate, Paul Hammond born 4th may 1970, and whether this is right information his birth mum was 19 possibly surname was Piper and gave birth to him in Northampton adoption Centre after 3 days she left and adopted parents picked him up in October, 1970, he only found out he was adopted at age 21 when he needed his birth certificate to go travelling, he would love to find his birth mother, and hopefully father but totally understands if this is not there wish, if anyone has some information regarding Paul’s past he would greatly appreciate. Many thanks,

    Reply
  135. I run a small tracing agency helping both adopted adults and birth parents find family .I am adopted myself so have some understanding of the need to find your family. I am here to help or just to listen to your story. Please look at my web site and if you feel I can help please ring . It costs nothing to talk I can provide references from other clients and from an adoption agency.

    Reply
  136. I am writing a book about a girl who gets pregnant in the UK, 1974 and is sent to a Magdalene Laundry. Can anyone tell me what the laundries were like in the mid 70s? Also when she suspected she was pregnant where would she have gone for help? Thank you

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  137. Looking for my sister who was born at a home for unmarried mothers in Eastbourne. All I know is my mum was pregnant at 14 so she could have been 14 or 15 when she had the baby girl that was adopted. The year of birth was probably 1964 (but as don’t know the dates could be 1963 or 1965). I have been told mum was sent toa home for unmarried mothers in the eastbourne area.

    I have only just found out about you and would love to find you – you will be in your late 40’d early 50’s now x

    Reply
  138. I was addopted. I traced my mother when i was 21, she had an affair with my father as she was in an abusive marraige. My father knocked a man down in his car and was sent to prision hence i was adopted. They later married and i met them all and had 2 “real brothers, one also sadly killed. My adoptive mother was an angel she died aged 91 at xmas ,i can never thank her enough…my story would make the angels cry but life makes you tough and thoughtful of others….

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  139. I have just stumbled across this site after unsuccessfully trying to trace my half brother. It was only after an unplanned pregnant myself twenty nine years ago and going through such turmoil that my mum told me her story. How as a young girl she had become pregnant my nan was mortified and so ashamed of her she was sent to a mother and baby home in harrow on the hill straight away alone and afraid and taken from her brothers and sisters, she told me even the nuns were surprised how early on she was sent to them. Nobody visited her for nine months and my grandad had visited the father in question but unknown to my mum he wad engaged to be married and the door was shut in my grandads face. She gave birth to a beautiful boy on 16/11/1956 in St John’s Hospital Chelmsford Essex her name was Patricia Edwards and she named him Gary Robert Edwards. She cared for Gary for many days and she loved him with all her heart she had been knitting him lots of little outfits in the nine months and she showed me all those years later her knitting patterns. She truly believed that she was taking him home. When my grandad came to pick them up she was so excited she remembers my grandad asking her to sign some papers in order that they could leave and she was told to go and collect her stuff, she handed Gary to my grandad in his little knitted suit. When she came down Gary was gone and my grandad told her he was to be adopted there was no way she could bring him home. It was so heartbreaking to hear her story of that long journey on the train home without her son the pain and horror the numbness it makes me cry now.
    She went on to marry my dad and have two daughters but she told me and still does not one day goes by when she doesn’t think of him and on his birthday she is so so sad. She knows he was adopted by a childless couple in Kent and the man was an accountant, and I guess maybe that his name was changed. What she did get and it was all she had was a tiny picture of Gary in a lovely little suit and I thank them for that.
    I now have that picture as when I had cancer a few years ago and was so frightened my mum placed it in my hand she said ‘I would never part with this ever only if I knew it was going to be with someone that wasn’t going anywhere’ and I didn’t bless her.
    I’ve tried many avenues but to no avail the reason I am so desperate is that two years ago my mum was diagnosed with dementia and she is getting worse but she never forgets her little boy that she so desperately wanted.
    Nobody knows what happened to little Gary and even if he was traced who knows if he would even want to meet mum but I just want to tell him my mum’s story and how much he was wanted and loved even for those days she had him. I feel I want to give my mum some peace she was/is a good person and like all of these stories it was circumstance of the time and I’m thinking of all of you mum’s and children.
    Can anyone advise me of any good agencies help they have been given that doesn’t want a small fortune I’m worried to pay the Money in case they are not legitimate.
    Any help would be greatly received.
    Sally

    Reply
    • Did your mum meet an Irish/Scottish girl called Eileen McBurney? Possibly a student or a nurse.. she was in Bartlett’s in 1956-1957 and we are trying to trace her.

      Reply
  140. My father Patrick Gordan John Overington, born 1951. Was adopted and lived with adoptive parents in Wimbledon. Overington was his adopted name. Dont have much information but im under the impression he was adopted in Wimbledon. Long shot I know but any information on his real parents please contact me.

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  141. Hi I’m looking for my mums half sister, we have only found out recently that she exists as mums mum never told us and unfortunately my nan passed away 4 years ago. I’ve only found the birth as doing the family tree and my mans elderly sisters are still with us at the mo.
    The story is my nan had an affair, became pregnant, gave birth to a girl in 1951, in St. John’s in Chelmsford Essex, registered her as Denise A. Harden had to adopt her. Apparently to a couple from Scotland. Also the story is this girl came looking for my nan when she was a teen but my nan turned her away (we r not sure how true this is). We would love to find you. Please contact me via the comments.

    Reply
  142. Hi, my wife wrote on here earlier this year, still looking for my birth mum, my birth certificate says Northamptonshire adoption service, does anyone no anything about what this means, is all that I kinda no is mums surname was piper, maybe age 19 at the time and she had me in in an adoption center in Northamptonshire 4/5/1970, had me and left me there, my birth certificate is dated 5 months later October 1970, I can only guess this is when my adoptive parents picked me up, any information however small would be helpful many thanks, Paul,

    Reply
  143. Trying yet again to find a lady called Monica Kernan , she was training to be a nurse in the late 1950 s early 1960 s at st Lawrances Hospital.Monica had come over from Ireland. Does anyone remember her.?

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  144. I’m just taking the first steps in tracing my birth family. As of today, I learnt my first appearance was at 48 Wood Street, Chelmsford. This enquiry is primarily addressed to Bella, whose mums half sister, like me, arrived in 1951. I presume that Wood Street was actually St John’s. Was this a Mother and Baby Home/Unit within the hospital? Unfortunately, recently demolished, this is now a new housing development. Any information would be great! Thanks – Jeff.

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  145. Baby girl born in Nairobi Kenya on 18/03/1967. Biological mother out on holiday had affair with married man. Do you have any info?

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  146. Reply for Jeff…
    Hi there, like you I don’t have much information. I’m assuming St. John’s did have a mother and baby unit going by previous posts and a little research online but that’s as much as I really know unfortunately. Good luck with your search. Perhaps we could exchange email addresses so that if we find anything that may be useful to each other we could collaborate? Bella.

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  147. My name is Alice Hunter im trying to find my niece who was adopted in either 1972 or early 1973 .in South of England somewhere near Brighton names Eastbourne or Bournemouth ring a bell .I think her birth name was either Carmel or Carmen Nugent .Her birth mother was Mary Nugent .. her name probably was changed when adopted which I think was a couple of days after birth .she had dark hair and blue eyes but colouring may have changed as she got older .please get in contact if you read this .I came across this site trying to find where I could register to be found .still haven’t found number and I’m not good on here so prob wont find this site again I live in Braintree Essex hope I find you xx

    Reply
  148. I am trying to trace my natural birth father, I have tried to get this information for such a long time that I am met with closed doors at every opportunity.
    My story is back in June 1967 that my birth mother Heather Tocher went into a mother and baby home to give me up for adoption, my name was Anita Tocher. The home was based as far as I am aware in Bebbington on the Wirral, my birth mother did and still does live in Wilmslow to this current day.
    The information that I have found out is that she claims not to know who my father is, but I dispute this for various reasons. What I have found out is that when she was younger she was dating a male, and both of them were friends with another couple (two couples). My birth mother went onto marry this male, but to now further explain almost 40 said years on, she has divorced the male and are now with both with each other’s partners from all those years ago. There are other children involved, and yes I have asked the question are these men my birth parent? I have been assured that they aren’t…..but I want to know for health reasons.
    It’s almost like when you give your child up for adoption, there is no thought for what devastating effect it can cause on the adopted child later in life.
    Can anyone advise me what to do please?
    Kind Regards
    Lianne

    Reply
  149. Hi, I’m looking for my adopted sister. She was adopt from the bell hostel in eastbourne. My mum Margaret waller had to give her up for adoption as this brought disgrace to the family. My mum named her linda and she was born on the 21st November 1962 and my Mum mothered her until she was 6 weeks old and was gave up for adoption to scout masters. They did send a letter to my mum but this letter never reached her. Please could you help me find her.

    Reply
  150. FAO BELLA

    I was in a Mother and Baby home in Baddow Road Chelmsford in the 1950s.

    Mothers were sent to the home for 6 weeks before baby was due then stayed 6 weeks after, then baby was taken for adoption….Babies were born at St Johns Hospital Chelmsford.

    The home I am pretty sure was called Bartletts…

    I only just found this page so hope the information helps Bella and anyone else looking for that home…

    Reply
    • Hi, I am searching for my information about Bartlett’s. My father was born there in 1956. How old were the girls who ended up there? Were they all local? Did anyone ever lie about their names or would that have been impossible? I want to get a better idea of what it was like. Can you help?

      Reply
  151. Hi, I am looking for my grandmother or any of my blood line. I have limited information which I am hoping is correct, but my adopted grandparents have been reluctant to help in this matter.

    My mother was born I believe on 30/04/61
    She was adopted very early 6months or under from Bournemouth
    I believe the mother (my grandmother) was a young unwed mother, possibly from the Channel Islands (Although I am not sure where this information came from!)
    There was knitted and lace garments, which gave the air of a wealthy family and possibly the letter J embodied, I am not sure if this was a family surname or the initial of my mother birth name (which she believed to be Janette :/)

    If any of this rings true to anyone please get in touch.

    Reply
  152. Searching for birth mother Winifred Mary Stubbs – you went to St Monica’s refuge at 13 Croxteth road, Liverpool and I was born in Sefton hospital on 15/12/1950.

    Reply
  153. Hi my name is beryl Parker/ delceppo
    I was born sept 1941 in Lambeth hosp.
    My birth mother (Winifred May Lane) registerd me & named me Sonjie Lane, unuseral name yes! adress she gave on my birth cet is 3 moreton terrace charlton kings cheltenham. She was a cafe waitress.
    I was adopted to the parkers Elsie & victor at Wimbledon court in 1943,and lived in Wimbledon/ raynes park. my adoption file only has my birth parents names & adress at the time.
    My birth fathers name is Jack Alfred Pearce he was living at 8 st michaels road stockwell sw9 in 1943
    Winifred May lane was living at 30 stansfield road stockwell sw9
    These adresses are very near each other.
    I would love to know were I was befor being adopted as I was adopted at 20 mths old.
    This being a private adoption there’s not a lot of info on B parents or family.
    I hoping someone will reconise my birth parents names
    Or hopeing to find any siblings

    Reply
  154. Hi, looking for my birth mother Kathleen WIlloughby at the time Kathleen lived in the Sheffield 6 area . I was born on 10-09-1968 in Sheffield. I was given the name Paul WIlloughby . if anyone as any information please get in touch.

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  155. Violet
    looking for.my brother who came looking for his parents . at the time I knew nothing of his story. his story was his mother was in hospital when he was born. in the approx. the man and women were arguing. the nurse that delivered him adopted him and moved to raise him in Denmark. years later he question why he was dark and the other were blue eyes and blond. then they moved back to ontario canada. but he found out he was born somewere in selkirk mb. he said is name was leon Frank lavallee which was changed to a different name in denmark. he found my brother Frank which was not his dad. so he met me through Frank my brother. my husband and i had 6 kids at the time. we had something to eat and we showed him pictures. then I went and introduced him to my mom Mary. the only thing came out of her mouth was I don’t know what happened. see she lost her memory years ago and when she saw this man. something triggered her memory..but the hospital said her baby died. this young man had a nice white car beautiful blonde wife who was pregnant and another child with them. I tried to help him find his maybe sister in Winnipeg mb. he said he was only going to search for 2 years. my mom said she used to see you at the restaurant around Christmas and seen the baby that was born. so we started to search for you. her memory came back about having a baby. but the hospital told her that her baby died. we were all put in foster home . because they told my mom that she had 1 yr to live. but she lived. my father had been working in NWT. and delivered food to our foster homes. we were all separated. mom lived and.lost her memory. we all got back together. and she through the year’s start to remember us. when they were in court she seen the same nurse that delivered her baby in the court room carrying her baby. she yelled and demanded her baby back. the doctor that was there gave my mom a needle . she blacked out no memory until you showed up at her door years later. She said she recognized your eyes. my mom passed away. and I found out she had twins. I pray everyday we find each other again and maybe do some.blood work. if you find this letter. I am now 58 so you should be born around 1960 or 61 or 62.

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  156. I’m looking for my birth mother Marie Barber from the Doncaster area. Her date of birth is 22/2/46 . I was born in Wakefield 4/2/66 and given up for adoption at 8 days old. I was given the name Sharon.
    Can anyone help me find her?

    Reply
  157. FAO Imanan,

    thank you for your comment, I am still no closer to finding any information that I need, I too am still in the area. your comment was in January, I hope you see this! and Jeff!

    Reply
  158. The pain and heart ache all these poor girls have been put through, it breaks my heart for them, having to give up there babies Not knowing what would come of them, no contact again, it’s so cruel, i was adopted in 1966, and I had a great childhood loving parents, But I carry the pain n heartache for the young girl who gave birth to me, and just hope she went on to have a family n good life, I would love to find her, to say thank you, as iv been fine, Hopefully someone will read this n know my birth mam Patricia ann myers from Gipton Leeds 8 1966.. If u don’t want to meet me A letter n photo of u would be lovely, Thank you Lisa/Melanie.

    Reply
  159. searching for my full brother … were you born 09.01.1963, in Chiswick Hospital, birth registered as Andrew John ( Tustin).. , mother Deryn Tustin.. . Deryn went to London W4 to give birth and give up the child fo adoption at a few weeks old. any info , please get in touch. thank you

    Reply
  160. Looking on behalf of my husband Robert born 6th October 1967 in the Greater London area . He is looking for his birth mother Susan Pittock

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  161. I was adopted in 1959 through The National Children’s Adoption Association. After I was born I was sent to a mother and baby home in Putney, where I stayed until my adoption. I was lucky enough to find my birth mother and we met on many occasions. Unfortunately she was unable to give me any information on the Putney mother and baby home.
    If anyone has any information I would be most grateful to receive it.

    Reply
  162. Looking For Miss B Ledwidge who gave birth to a girl on 25/6/61
    Formly of Berkeley Street Liverpool.. please reply if there’s any information thanks
    Kind Regards
    Tara (on behalf of Miss M Ledwidge)

    Reply
  163. I would like to be in contact with any girls who were at Francis Way Maternity Home. 124 Four Ashes Rd. Bentley Heath, Dorridge. From November 1969 until March 1970. We had to make the best of our situation. I especially remember Elizabeth Jackson 12 Nith St. Bootle. We lost contact many years ago.

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  164. I was lucky. My Aunt had placed a letter on file when I had the strength, finally, to look into my story knowing that my birth mother had died when I was 10. Recently I found out who my father is. He probably never knew. I have cousins I can talk to. Small mercies after a lifetime of crying for the moon I know, but try I found the cousins via DNA test on a well known website. Feel for you all x

    Reply
  165. I am looking for a half brother, born in London on January 5th 1973 or 1974. Born to an Irish mother Louise F. Birth name was Anthony but may have changed since. Apparently adopted by 2 doctors. Hopefully we can find something related to this

    Reply

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